A time for growth

My pregnacy was surreal at times. I never thought I would have the opportunity to have another child. It was also a period of growth for me personally. When I first found out I was pregnant I was panicked. I didn't have much leave at work and our finances were not in the best shape. I had to go back to work after 4 weeks with Andrew since I had a new job and no leave and hated every minute of it. I was an emotional basket case because I just wasn't ready to leave him. I just didn't think I could handle that with this one because I knew how emotional it was for me. When I found out I was pregnant with Harper my feeling were bittersweet. I had always wanted another baby but how were we going to make it? How could I leave my baby? Well I started praying. Constantly, without ceasing. I was stressed but through it all I was so amazed of God's grace at every turn. Blessings just poured in, some not even asked for. It showed me to trust that God knows our needs before we even ask.

 "... For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him." Matthew 6:8

When we first found out, I was unsure what to think and worried what everyone else will think. When we told our parents, I knew we would eventually be okay. Eric's parents were so thrilled and I was glad we could bring them some unexpected but happy news following the passing of Patsy's dad. When we told my parents, without hesitation Mom said that she was turning in her retirement papers and would keep the baby! I knew she had been considering retiring for a couple of years but she had 2 more years to go before she got her 25 years in. I was amazed at how things were working out. Having someone care for my baby while I worked who I knew would love my baby as I do was more than I could have even asked for. Such a blessing!! An answered prayer before I even had time to pray for it.




Cake from our Gender Reveal Party




It's a GIRL!!



Those who thought it was a boy wore blue



The ones who thought it was a girl in their pink

 The next big worry for me was my maternity leave. I knew Harper would be in good hands but I so desperately craved for time with my baby and knew I wouldn't be ready to go back early. I only had enough leave for a couple of weeks and we just couldn't afford for me to take much time without pay. It broke my heart and again I started praying. My aunt & uncle had worked where I work before they retired. My aunt called me one day and said they had a bunch of sick leave that they donated when they retired. She said there may be a possibility that it was still available and to call HR and see. I knew it was a long shot but sent HR an email asking about the leave and didn't think much else about it. Several weeks had gone by and I had totally forgot about the email but I was still constantly stressing about my maternity leave. One day while I was in a training class I just happened to remember that I never heard back from HR so I sent her another email. Within the hour, she had replied saying she was sorry she hadn't gotten back to me sooner. She had checked on my aunt's & uncle's leave and it had been too long since they had left to use their leave but that she had found me 240 hours of leave donated by employees who were retiring!!!! That was 6 weeks worth of leave!!!! I had to leave the room crying in the middle of training. I tried to call Eric as soon as I got outside and could hardly tell him. It worked out so wonderful too. The leave in addition to the wonderful holday schedule we have where I work, I was able to be home with Harper for 10 weeks without missing a single dime. After that moment I found out about the donated leave I knew things were going to be okay. Not necessarily easy, but I learned to trust that God would supply our needs. From that moment on I found a new reliance on God.

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,

 but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing."  Psalm 34:8-10



I was blessed with several baby showers to help get ready for Harper's arrival



I'm headstrong, stubborn and like to do things my way. I have been a christian since I was 9 years old but have always struggled with leaving everything up to God. I'm the world's worst about trying to do it myself first and then let Him have it when I can't make it work. During this time I learned to give it all to Him. I realized I couldn't make this work, not by myself. This will have to be God's way because it just didn't work my way. After all, I didn't plan this pregnancy and never in a million years would I have thought I would be having another child. Talk about being throw for a loop! How many times do we cause ourselves unnecessary grief by not seeking God's will to begin with? I realize that life isn't perfect but for some reason I act like a spoiled child when it's not. Whining & complaining that things aren't going MY way. It was a wake up call that it's not about MY way but HIS. I am retraining myself to try and seek HIS will before mine. I think sometimes God throws us for a loop to get us out of a rut and to get our focus back on Him. I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be a mother once again and I pray that this experience, no matter how unsure or how hard it is, will allow me to grow closer to God and to become the person he meant for me to be.

"Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face evermore!" 1 Chronicles 16:11